Snowflakes

often, like identical snowflakes

we form the same thought

snowflakes generated apart

under differing influence

but yet the same in shape

size and intricate pattern

said not to be possible

but I have seen it myself

right there, when you text

saying, pick up xzy or abc

and it’s already in the cart

or when I start to explain

and I stop cuz you get it

without words or looks

it’s already formed there

like it was my very own

formed there without seed

just happened to appear

exactly the same somewhere

somewhere other than here

Critique Request

So, this one is a draft, feel free to tear it apart…give it your best honest opinion< i know personally a few line still don’t ‘feel’ right to me and I keep monkeying with it, but I thought I’d see if anyone would by and critique online.

Petals

Petals dead
still red
Hanging crisp –
fall upon floor
once in a while

a rose still
wickered in
chianti bottle
water milky brown
sickly sweet smell

Petals dead
still red
like swollen lips
red by kisses
red prick of thorn
hot red
flush of face.